Books Bygone

Monday, November 4, 2013

Last Goes First

A. Leland was last to read his sentence. After hearing ours, he said he wished he'd written a better one. So let's get his out of the way first.
I know of no other better descriptive term for Rachel Maddow than "harpy."

Referring to Kat's 3rd Grade Teacher-- before we raised a ruckus and had Kat put in another class-- I said,
Mrs. Garrison was a harpy dressed up as an Angle of the Lord.
In an obviously false self-referential sentence, Daughter C said,
"Put your cigarette out while she's still eating!" shrieked the harpy.
Showing off his long-term memory of especially song lyrics, Mr. Big Food said,
Paraphrasing the Kinkster: "Mean-minded harpy, breakin' all the laws, tearing up her girdle and burnin' up her bra."
And Miss M reported a conversation.
Missy said that she heard Rocky say that Sweetheart is a harpy bitch.
 ~~

"Ruff!"

"Oh. No worries, Rocky. It's not a swear word in this context. It's perfectly acceptable to refer to a female dog as a 'bitch'."

"Rufff."

"Well! Let me make my position perfectly clear. I am a female dog, but I will never be a 'bitch' nor will I ever accept being called one. I am ... ."

"Calm down, Missy. We all understand that you are incapable of being a 'bitch,' what with your being incapable of having pups and all."

"Ruff."

"I'm so sorry to have over-reacted. I guess I, too, despite my lack of free-flowing estrogen, get a bit bitchy at times"

"Ruff ruff!!"

"Now, Rocky. Be sympathetic. Unlike that bitch Sweetheart, Missy will never experience the joys of motherhood."

"ruff."

"It's okay, y'all. Don't feel sorry for me. I take pleasure in being a member of the family. And looking at the situation logically, I'm not sure I'd want to spawn Rocky's pups even if I could."

"RUFF RUFF!??!!"

"No offense intended, my dear friend."

"Oh for crying out loud. Will you both just shut up!"

"Ruff."

"Gruuruff."
  

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