Books Bygone

Monday, April 9, 2012

Fantastik!

Image from http://www.scjohnson.com/en/products/brands/cleaning/fantastik.aspx
DIRECTIONS FOR USE: It is a violation of Federal law to use this product in a manner inconsistent with its labeling.
GENERAL HOUSEHOLD CLEANING: Spray product onto soiled surface and wipe with a dry paper towel of lint-free cloth. No scrubbing or rinsing necessary.
If you spray your kitchen table and counters as one of the final steps in cleaning your kitchen, and you use your wet dish rag to wipe them off, you have violated Federal law.

Likewise, if you hold you can of Scrubbing Bubble [insert some trademark thing here] less than 6" or  more than 8" away from your tub surface, you have violated Federal law.

Likewise, if you sprinkle fire ant bail on ant hills, and do not water it in, you have violated Federal law. 

Likewise, if you do not store your Sevin dust [insert TM thing] in a locked area, you have violated Federal law.

I could go on and on-- the Federal Government certainly has. But that's okay-- it's for your own good, just like laws requiring you to put your bike helmets on and buckle up before you pick up that screwdriver. Because, you know, no one ever survived to reproductive age before Nanny took control.

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