4. Entertainment and Sports Programming Network (E.S.P.N. dadadada).
PART 3 WALMART LIES
Until 5pm this afternoon, FedEx tracking had my order arriving today. Who were they kidding? Hutchens, TX is 8 hours from here.
It's not arriving tomorrow, either. We all know that. Tomorrow is Game Day. Ain't nobody gonna be driving a FedEx truck out the The Farm on Game Day.
I'm never shopping at Walmart ever again. Never. Ever. Never. I don't like Sam Walton, lying thief that he was.
PART 4 ESPN
I hate ESPN.
At no time in the history of our planet have so many lives been so distributed but one stupid television network as ours have been by ESPN. Week after week, year after year, ESPN dictates when our teams will be playing, and by extension when our tailgates will start, what we'll have for breakfast, what time we'll need to get up, go to bed the night before... . ESPN even tried to start a new Mississippi Thanksgiving tradition! Who gave EPSN and its corporate shills that power? Not me!
I'm tired of ESPN.
See you at the game. Go Dawgs.
And you know what the sad part is? Those staying home to watch the game won't even be able to listen to it on the new sound bar because the sound bar is in Columbus and as we have established, ain't nobody gonna be driving a FedEX truck out to The Farm on Game Day.