"How to Explore the Outdoors with Kids"

Alternate title: "Are You Kidding Me?"

How to explore the outdoors with kids, you idiots, you.

Mr. Big Food and I have found a new (to us) toy: Skype. It is not uncommon for us to chat during the day-- and that's fun-- but now we can see each other chatting! As I begin writing this, I'm waiting for Mr. Big Food to Skype me, and poking around the World Wide Web. I came across "How to Explore the Outdoors with Kids" by Jenn Savedge at The Weather Channel (TWC). Oh. Brother.

It begins:

Summer is finally here! And now that warmer days are in season, you may be getting the itch to ditch the winter gear and bask in the sunshine. This is such an awesome time of year to get out and explore nature — especially with kids. But as with anything parenting-related, it will go so much better if you're prepared.


Here's what you need to know to have a successful outdoor exploration with your kids.

Start small

If your kids are new to outdoor exploration, ...

HUH? What does this mean? If your kids are new to outdoor exploration you are an idiot.

don't try to force a long hike. Start with a small day hike or even just splashing around at a nearby pond. Give them a chance to get used to the joys of being outdoors before you take them to your favorite secluded (and faraway) location.

Don't expect anything, and they will be super achievers. 

Setting that aside, it's not clear to me to whom this advise is targeted-- beyond idiots. There are two broad choices: City Mice and Country Mice. By definition, the children of Country Mice live in the country and more than likely have been exploring the world out the door since the first time they were laid on a blanket spread on the grass or toddled around barefoot. Which leaves us with the children of City Mice who should be splashing around in a nearby pond.

One wonders if Jenn at TWC read what she wrote, has kids, and lives in the city. No. No. Yes.

The little article goes on to tell us we should know our kids' strengths and weaknesses.

If they're bothered by bugs or averse to hiking, plan accordingly (bring bug spray and keep the outing short) to maximize the fun.

Don't expect anything, and they will be super achievers.

We should

Be prepared

Minimize any challenges or obstacles that may pop up by bringing along some extra snacks, water, dry socks, sunscreen, bug repellent, sweatshirts, and toilet paper. (Hey, you never know!) 

Don't expect anything, and they will be super achievers.

 

And my favorite


Get help

If you're an ecologist or experienced naturalist, you're good to go. But the rest of us may need a little help when it comes to identifying all of the plants, birds and moss specimens that your kids are sure to ask about on your outing. Grab a few pocket guides or field guides or join up with other neighborhood families to pool your knowledge and make the outing more fun and social for all of you.

See the alternate title. We are all idiots according to Jenn at TWC. Why does she assume that you need to identify everything for your kids? Seriously. If a kid is so old that he's asking you to identify a particular bird, let's say, and he's just now learning to explore the outdoor world, you really might be an idiot. 

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