To Cleanse Your Soul

In the event you stumbled upon this piece of poop 

HUNTINGTON, Ind. - A 45-year-old associate professor at Huntington University is creating a scratch-and-sniff children's book in which lying animals lure in unsuspecting young readers with claims of sweet smelling gaseous byproducts.  Other critters in the 24 page epic apparently attempt to warn readers as to the reality of the dank odors. However, if a reader does not heed those warnings,  scratch-and-sniff panels will clear up any confusion.

you'll be needing something sweeter smelling to counter that load of crap.

Here you go.

Kipling Stories Every Child Should Know, edited by Mary E. Burt and W.T. Chaplin, originally published in 1891, republished in 1939 by  Doubleday, Doran & Co., Inc., New York for The Parent's Institute, Inc., publishers of "The Parent' Magazine."

What a sweet book! The editors intended it to be "a book that could be used in each grade of the public schools, if possible in the child's own hands." 

Kipling Stories is one from a large series of The Every Child Should Know Library books. I have three others-- Christmas Stories, Bible Stories, and Patriotic Stories-- but I see from a quick search of the World Wide Web there may be dozens more. My guess is that none were ever read to Mr. Associate Professor when he was a lad.